How To Start When Starting Is The Problem
Do you feel like you know where you want to go but it's like something is holding you back?
Don't worry, you are not alone! Most of us feel this way and more than you would think. Making that first step as hard or easy as it can be is always a challenge. Our brain is programmed to save us from uncomfortable and dangerous things. Sometimes it is doing so to the things that are actually good for us.
So how to fake your brain into actually making that first step towards something you've been wanting to do but the fear was holding you back. This is something that no one but you can do. That's why in my opinion it is best to ask yourself these questions...
What is holding me back?
The first step is always the hardest but once you get past it everything gets a little bit easier. It is like that with the first question which we can call a core one. The best way to start is to realize the first thing that is not allowing you to make the right choice, the choice to just start. There might not be just one thing that is holding you back. There could be few of them that are related and together make it a lot harder. Write down those things as writing them down make them real. It is much easier to deal with something that feels real than with something that is just floating in our minds.This question is very important as so is the answer. That's why you shouldn't rush it or let the feeling of guilt overwhelm you. Whatever reason for not starting you have shouldn't make you feel worse than you probably already do feel. Realizing what we need to work on and reflecting is something we should do often and not only in situations like this. Most people never even get to here so be proud of yourself.
Are my fears realistic?
Answers on your first question are probably fears and doubts that accumulated in your mind and heart for way too long. Fears are completely normal. They are actually there for a reason. Fear is a mechanism that actually saves our lives in certain situations. The thing is that it sometimes tries to save us for things that may seem dangerous but in fact, they aren't. We can say that it is a fear of the unknown. The fear of failure, shame, and disapproval. One of the ways you can work around it is to use reason. Ask yourself how realistic all the fears and doubts you have are.
Most of the time we actually use our fear as an excuse when we deep down know that our fears are very unrealistic. Even if what we fear could happen, does that mean that we shouldn't try at all? Of course, not. Try to remember all the times you were afraid of something just to then realize that everything went well. If it helps you, you can always write them down and for every fear write why it is and why it isn't realistic.
Is what I can gain worth making the first step?
Because of the fear we tend to not see what we could gain if only we started. If you worked through the second question then you are ready to do some positive thinking and manifestation. If you think about it, the fact that you got the urge or desire to do something in itself means that you could gain something. Once again be mindful about it and think deeply about how your life would change if you make that first step. Try to make it as visual as you can.
Visualize yourself doing that thing, visualize how you feel, what you accomplished, where you are heading. In some cases, you might realize that the thing you maybe though you want to do is going to be just a waste of time. Although most likely you will end up feeling motivated to do the next step. That is the power of visualization and positive manifestation. Thinking about all the good changes in your life that could happen only if you have a shift in mindset from passive to active.
What is the smallest step I can make?
Now that you got to the conclusion that the thing that's been on your mind for so long is actually something you should give a chance, you need to make a move in the right direction. At this point, we feel motivated and full of ideas we want to immediately turn into reality. That is actually where a lot of people make a big mistake. That mistake is burnout. When you start something with too much passion and energy it then slowly starts to decrease and that is when the doubt and fear come back. The first step must be small but meaningful.
Starting small doesn't mean starting bad, it means that you are ready to carefully make your way in the right direction. Being afraid and being careful are two completely different things. Those who like to plan everything can write down steps they can make. This is something that will help you stay on track and prevent burnout. When you make a small step you won't be disappointed with the small result. Smal results at the beginning are normal and necessary for you to grow.
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Is there something you wanted to do but just couldn't start?
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